A heat-of-the-moment post: OK, I’m seriously getting tired of arguments over “sexy stage outfits”

First we had Rania, now this. 

(image source: Allkpop)

Apparently on Allkpop, SNSD’s Taeyeon is getting quite a bit of shit for doning this “revealing” outfit during a performance of their Japan showcase. 

I am boiling with fury here. Some of these comments seriously disgust me. They’re logical, yes, but so incredibly sexist. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of slut-shaming, rape, and sexual assault. And clear hints of a very pissed-off blogger.

Excuse me, but those “expectations” you talk about are exactly the reasons why female bodies are so ‘stigamatized’ in our society. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and ponder out loud why is it in that some societies, particularly that of Sub-Saharan Africa and the Amazon, women can walk around completely nude and not be attacked both physically and verbally? Moreover, Japan and South Korea are known for their public baths, both same-sex AND uni-sex? Think about it. These “expectations” (or rather, restrictions) surrounding skin-baring are nothing but socially constructed, and with sexist foundations at that. We as a society have internalized the association (or disassociation) between nudity, and morality and decency, and it is because of that internalization we reject anything that comes close to nudity. That association, again, is not truth — but a mere social construct. The implications of it? Females are attacked for the clothes they wear. They get raped on the streets and when they ask for help, they’re merely dismissed because “it was so obvious she was asking for it.” Hello, shouldn’t it be the people wolf-whistling at these girls that need to get punished? Just because a woman is walking around in a midriff or short denim cut-offs it does not mean she is directly looking for sex. Nor does it mean she is living an ‘indecent’ lifestyle*. Like I’ve said before, one of the biggest mistakes we as a society are making is telling others how to not get raped, instead of telling them not to rape. Slut-shaming, raping, sexual assault… all these things happen because of the sexist notions our society thrives off. 

*I am not associating “sex” and an “indecent lifestyle”, of course. Beliefs and behaviors about the act of sex is purely an individual’s choice, and that individual should also not be ostracized for that choice.

I don’t know about you, but I find it amusing how ironic it is that this commenter’s reprimand another for being “ignorant”… talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Physiological differences do not equate to the perception of those differences. As females, yes, we have cleavage. We have hips. But is the indecency to expose them as opposed to men’s bare chests really a “physiological difference”? 

(BTW, “Maybe you should tone down the emotion and use some logic. This is why guys are usually in leadership positions, not women”?!?!?!?!?! CAN I CUT SOMEONE’S FACE PLEASE HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.

You know, we may be emotional, but that does not make us less sensible or reasonable. That does not mean we have less of a cause to fight for. That does not make us more inept than men. HKJDNklfafd;lkasf*)

*Doing my best not to cuss. It’s seriously so hard.

We’re sexual creatures. Sex is a part of life. Accept that, and stop being so hush-hush about sex. That’s the problem with so many kpop fans — they abhor the thought of their unnies or noonas or oppahrs being seen as ‘sexual’… (yet you’ve got this global black market of smut fan-fiction?!?) 

And there’s the argument about “selling their sexuality”… um, yes they are. What’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with the media portraying female idols celebrating what it means to be a woman (a part of which includes flaunting our unique physical traits)? Again, since when did we start associating the term “sexuality” (and even “seduction”) with “pervertedness” or “indecency”? Oh lookie there, another implication of our sadly sexist world. 

The reason why we’ve succumb to attaching a taboo to sex I guess is because of the hundreds of individuals out there who unfortunately don’t know how to keep it in their pants… when you think about it, we’re giving the bad guys the excuses to do their dirty deeds. We’ve surrendered to the easy (and ridiculous) way out. If we’re gonna argue about indecency, then it should be these people who need to be called ‘indecent.’ 

I guess something else I’m trying to say is that this whole double standards thing is getting old. True, it’s because our society is pretty patriarchal. But can that change, please? Can we stop oppressing individuals because of who they are in terms of sex, a characterization that is purely out of the limits of our control? 

I apologize, I don’t know if I’m thinking clearly, or even making sense. I’m so mad it’s not even funny. There are way more points I wish I could address, but at the moment I seriously can’t muster up the willpower to do anything else but scream into a pillow. 

Oh, and here’s the article, along with the Disqus thread. Read and weep. Literally. 

[More discussion on the topic here]